What do you do when the life you had hoped for and planned for looks nothing like the one you currently have?
I had the honor of interviewing Dr. Meg Meeker for my Millionaire Clarity Pack. She is a prominent Leading Pediatrician as seen on The Today Show, The Dave Ramsey Show, Oprah Radio and The Huffington Post.
I’ll never forget her words from the stage at the 2014 Dave Ramsey Smart Conference in Dallas, and then to me personally on our phone call:
“Throughout the course of her lifetime, every woman will take at least one man to the grave.
And it’s not her husband.
It’s her dad.
Either because she loved him so much and he just passed away, or because he was never there and she buried him in her heart.”
When Daddy Walked Away
Long story short (you can read the full sha-bang here), I had buried my dad in my heart.
He gathered all of us in the Master Bedroom on that Christmas Eve and explained to my mom, older sister and me (I was 7) why he wouldn’t be there in the morning for Christmas, or the next Christmas either.
Surely this must be a joke. It was Christmas Eve!
He wasn’t joking.
I was confused, hurt, angry and sad.
Even though I was raised in a Christian home with a praying Mom, it was difficult for me to forgive him. But I knew I needed to. I was taught about forgiveness, love and kindness.
But just not now. I wasn’t ready. I still had so many unanswered questions.
That was Christmas Eve, Dec. 24, 1986.
Life moved on.
Then, exactly 27 years later, on Christmas Eve again, Dec. 24, 2013, one of my best friends died.
When Collette Died
Her death shook me to the core. The cancer took her away from us in less than 2 months.
How Lord? How?
She was young, beautiful, strong, super healthy (she literally ate cucumbers for breakfast and was a size 4. The envy of women everywhere 🙂
Why this one? Why now? On Christmas Eve….again? On Christmas Eve….I lose someone else so close, near and dear to me?
The questions flooded my mind endlessly.
Questions turned to grief, grief turned to sadness and anger, and then finally acceptance.
Although I knew she was in a better place, I missed her terribly. Still do. Every single day.
At the time, I was working as the Director at our church Learning Center. I retreated alone to the Sanctuary of our church to pray during one of my breaks.
I needed to think about what just happened.
I needed to think about these two significant events – each happening on Christmas Eve. ‘What was the meaning?’, I wondered? ‘What was the significance?’
Collette had done so many amazing things with her life, but I knew her. I knew she wanted to do so much more.
We weren’t even that far apart in age.
“My time could be soon. Tomorrow is not promised. Lord, help me to blossom where I’m planted and do what you’ve truly purposed for my life. I want to be ready. I want to help as many people as I can not die with their song still inside of them. I want to hear you say, ‘Well, done thy good and faithful servant.’
Collette was one of my best friends & a true sister. Gone but never forgotten. I will always love you.
A year goes by and I’m still working my day job, but during my moments of extra time, I’m consuming podcasts and reading books like crazy about finding your voice, living your purpose and doing work you truly love.
I also have the honor of serving in the ministry as a Pastor’s Wife. I had undergone a huge transition moving from a little city called Los Angeles to Montgomery, Alabama where my awesome husband lived.
I could write a book (and actually have 2) on the lessons learned from that journey.
I made a Choice to Forgive
I couldn’t control my Dad’s decision, nor could I control Collette’s death, but I could control how I responded and how I could use my experiences to positively impact others. So that’s when I started looking into the world of coaching.
Chuck Swindoll is famous for saying that life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it.
I’d been informally coaching people for over 13 years, but thanks to the excellent coaching I received from New York Times Bestselling Author Dan Miller and my Mastermind, decided to turn it into a business model in February of 2014.
Dan often says: “The best billboard for being a coach is a life well lived.”
I knew that in order to be an effective coach and truly help others, I had to lead my own life.
So on his 70th birthday, I surprised my Dad at his birthday party.
Never being one to cry much, I saw him break down for the first time the moment I walked in the door. A forgiveness like no other happened and true healing began. We were both a teary mess when it was all over :).
God has Healed our Relationship
Now we talk every Sunday and he is absolutely one of the most kind and wisest men I’ve ever known.
I would have never known that kindness or wisdom had I chosen to hold onto the root of bitterness.
Dad and me at his 70th Birthday Party. My first time seeing him cry.
I’m also able to carry Collette’s memory and help others live a life that’s true to their authentic selves, and not the one everyone else expected them to live.
So I understand Transition & Forgiveness…
I hope you know that I can understand, or at least empathize with your story of transition & forgiveness.
I know what it’s like to deal with major change & transformation in your life.
Have you ever been there before?
Leaving the familiar for the unfamiliar? The known for the unknown?
Maybe you’re wanting to start your own business, write a book, or launch your own products & programs with recurring revenue streams.
With Time, You’ll Adjust…and Grow
It took some time to adjust, but with God’s help and a supportive, loving family, I’ve had more good days than bad.
In fact, my days have been amazing. Not perfect, but amazing.
Why? Because I wake up every morning with a heart full of gratitude for the gift of His grace and mercy along my journey.
Genuine Gratitude truly is the ticket to Happiness.
The most important things in life are not things. It’s about the deep, lasting impact we can make in the lives of others.
I have my exceptional Mom to thank for teaching me that.
With my biggest fan, supporter & prayer warrior. The woman who led, and continues the lead the way exceptionally well, my Mom, Dr. Rezine Keng.
You Can Start or Grow Your Own Business.
I’m not talking about what I wish were true, I’m talking about what I’ve actually been blessed by the grace of God to do.
From helping clients launch their own businesses, writing books, to paying off debt because of increased income, I love seeing the lives of clients change because they invested in themselves.
What About You?
Have you ever had a lack of self-confidence when doing something brand new or felt the need for a greater sense of direction?
Maybe you are searching for your unique value and calling. Perhaps you’re looking for creative ways to become the entrepreneur you know you’re meant to be and make money doing what you love.
If that’s you, I am here to empower, inspire and motivate you to live out your God-given purpose and start or grow your own business and become the leader you were built to be.
With former US Surgeon General, Dr. Ben Carson
You are going higher! I offer Maximum Potential Academy, a private Mastermind and one-on-one coaching programs if you want to go farther, faster that my clients get real results from. Just read some of the testimonials and you’ll see what I’m talking about. If you’re ready, I’m ready. In the meantime, take advantage of the free resources and content here to be inspired to go to your next level of success.
With powerhouse and Women of Faith speaker, Patsy Clairmont